Who Knew There Were So Many Cures for Warts?

I'm listening to Chopin - I haven't listened to this in ages. I heard someone playing a piece on a programme and it reminded me of the movie about George Sand and Chopin. I think it was one of Hugh Grant's earlier appearances. He did a really good job of acting scared and ducking and diving George.
Richard doesn't share my affection for Chopin. He calls him sticky fingers - but then he also calls Riverdance sticky feet... The kids have a movie called the Emperors New Groove and they do a little dance number akin to Riverdance... I can't take those Riverdancers seriously after seeing that animated number!
Ok, so about the warts... about a month ago I scratched what I thought was a spider bite... It turned out to be a wart in progress. The trouble is it's rather large and protrusive and seemed to be getting larger by the day - until I got the magic potion from the witch doctor - I mean the pharmacist... The amazing part is the number of weird and wonderful suggestions on how to take care of a wart. My personal favourite was: when you wake up in the morning, before you brush your teeth, lick the wart. YUCK! Needless to say, that wasn't an idea I was going to try in a hurry. You might be sitting wondering why the heck I didn't just go and have it burnt off. Well, aside from being a ridiculous wimp when it comes to pain - I have heard that they come back even after being burnt off.
Why now? Why on earth not when I was a kid hunting for tadpoles in Happy Valley?
I told the girls I was turning into a witch and that the transformation would be complete when the two warts appeared on my chin and my nose. Perhaps this might explain their impeccable behaviour the past couple of weeks. I should get a prosthesis nose and wear it for a day! That'll really get them. Emma, who is particularly sensitive about being embarrassed will positively die!
The wart is subsiding slowly much to my relief - not only is it ugly, I'm amazed at how in the way it is!